One of the biggest emotional challenges in life for anyone is a break down in relationship for someone that you care for. This is even more challenging for someone who’s mental wellness is not as strong as someone who does not suffer from mental illness.
At all times you need to support your mental health & make decisions to benefit you emotionally, this to be honest goes for everyone & I have covered this subject before in my previous posts.
For this post what I want to share with you an insight to what a damaged relationship can do to someone who is unfortunately not well & what you need to look out for & cut before the damage reflects on you.
They come in the form of love & friendship to us personally. We live life loosing & gaining new relationships all the time, this is a wonderful part of life. Equally, the loosing aspect is not so fun, we experience pain, hurt, confusion, anxiety & often question ourselves. What the hell went wrong?, Why did I make that mistake?, Why were they not just honest with me?!, Why are they not being clear & just tell me the truth?. We fly out many questions & build ourselves up to try & seek understanding especially when we are left clueless.
The brutal truth can be so painful, in reality we chase for an answer & emotional build ourselves to act in unnatural ways that means you become worse off. One of the biggest learns I have gone through is cutting out people who bring me more unhappiness then happiness. This is incredibly important, for an individual to make the decision that leaves me questioning myself will damage me in more ways then they will realise.
In other words if the relationship doesn’t seem the same, you have to let it go! New lovers which enter your life, you start to fall for them & for whatever reason the relationship comes to a stop! (In fact you may never find out why this could of happened!, Do not waste your energy in trying to either) & the same for friendships. My advice & I am no expert, but it’s what I believe, is to be honest with that person & call out your feelings in a non emotional charge way of communication. If you attack because you are hurt the communication will never be a 2 way street, the other person will simply shut down & attack back. They need to recognise that you are feeling uncomfortable & anxious, if they do not understand this or make you feel secure in your feelings, don’t fight but let go!
Sometimes people are selfish, so selfish & will never be honest with you. This is mainly because they don’t have the life experience or the respect you thought they had for you, or they just do not care. They care about there own guilt & how the situation makes them feel, often these people will do whatever it takes to ensure they are okay, having a perception their life is perfect when in reality it’s far from the truth.
As soon as a relationship becomes negative try only once to invest your energy in making it better, remove & then move on. Of course if the circumstances are that you have know them for some time, you must always analysis & seek to understand. New relationships in your life however, do not waste time & move on!!!!
Suffering from Mental Illness which many do not understand & calling us crazy, mad or saying “sorry you feel that way” or “you don’t get it do you” will damage us more then people will believe. We need to look after ourselves & our health is at risk & our life’s. For some this sounds drastic but for us this is reality. We train ourselves to emotionally shut down & sometimes can be more harsh in cutting people out, then the average person. This is to protect ourselves to avoid depression kicking in & which is more of a struggle to recover from.
One of the best things my mother told me was “When a relationship turns bad & you let go to move on, you are mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Therefore, remember that things do not work out how you may of planned, it’s not necessarily bad – things always do have a way of working out”.
Keep an eye out for my next post coming soon, where I talk about what a relationship at the beginning stages should be like to spot if you have met a person who is healthy or negative for you, there are always signs!!!!